{The doctor placed the gas tube over my face and told me to
think happy thoughts… “Pretend you’re in Cancun”, she said, “This will only
take hour”. As I began to drift into a
trippy state I started to feel a heaviness fall upon my chest and
shoulders and then a huge sadness came over me.}
In my heart’s mind I kept wondering why there was so much
sadness and I began to weep. I kept
asking, “Why must there be so much sadness?”, “Why do people have to go through
the difficulties of this life that cause so much sadness?” My weeping became
inconsolable as the sadness became stronger and stronger.
{At this point I could hear the doctor and her assistant
trying to reach out to me. They were
patting my hands and asking me why I was so scared. “What is making you
scared? Don’t be afraid, you’re gonna be
o.k.”, the doctor said. I was fully
aware of what she was saying but at the same time in my heart’s mind I was
heavy with sadness. I heard the assistant
say, while stroking my cheek, “Think happy thoughts… this is YOUR time.”}
In my heart’s mind I thought, “This is not MY time… this is
the LORD’S time. No time is my time… It all belongs to the LORD!!” And then I heard a voice saying, “This is why
Jesus died on the cross. We will always
go through difficulties in this life. Sometimes, people we trust the most hurt
us. Or, the church we have trusted the most has hurt us… not the structure but
the people within it. But we can hand
this pain over to Jesus and HE will carry the burden.” The sadness I felt began
to lift off of me and I felt a sense of relief.
I then, in my heart’s mind, saw a bright, blinding
light. It reminded me of the blinding
morning sun when I’m trying to drive but can’t see the road in front of me. Or,
like I had just come out of a dark theater and stepped out into a bright, sunny
day… I squeeze my eyes shut and slowly let a little light flow under my
eyelids. In my heart’s mind I knew this
was a sample of the glory of the Lord and I began to feel happiness come over
me.
{I could hear the doctor’s assistant gently say, “Mira la
sonrisa.” Which means: look at the smile. When the doctor acknowledged the
smile I realized they were speaking of me.
Apparently I was smiling. To this
moment I still can’t figure out how that was even possible with all the
contraptions strapped to my mouth. When
the Lord makes you smile, nothing can hold it back!}
The light started to dim so that I could make out what was
in front of me. I was in a field that
was surrounded by the Bright Light but the Light was slightly shielded so that
I could enjoy my beautiful surroundings.
I was watching myself stand in a field of tall grass that was swaying
back and forth by a light breeze. I couldn't smell the grass but I knew in my heart there was a sweet aroma blowing
off the grass and knew that this is the kind of peace that we can feel after we
give all our burdens to Jesus. It felt
like I was inhaling a freshness of peace and calmness.
{I heard the doctor say, “Give me the crown, I need her
crown!” (The crown for my tooth)}
In my heart’s mind I heard the voice say, “This is the crown
you are getting now but on that day… You will receive your real crown.”
{The doctor and her assistant then began the process of
bringing me back to the real world. I
cried a little more, remembering all that the Lord had shown me. As I slowly walked toward the exit I thought
to myself how fast the procedure had gone.
It felt like 15 minutes had passed.
I looked over at the clock and realized that it had been TWO hours.}
Thank You Jesus for dying on the cross for me so that I may
experience your peace that surpasses all understanding. Your gentle aroma of sweetness overtakes me
and I become one with you. I love you, Jesus!
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